The Adventures Of Tripp Fantastic Chapter Three : A Very Long Way To Nothing

Tripp was half way threw watching Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls when he suddenly sat up and asked him self "what was the connection between the Jim Carrey happy birthday video and the FBI wanting to pay Tripp £1 000 000 to kill Garth?" Because he apparently stole the Space/Time quantum flux processor. How was the Video and Quantum Flux processor connected. Even more importantly, why was he only thinking about it now? Mabey the video was the processor?! Why did he seem to have gaps in his memory? Why won't Taylor Swift return his Twitter messages and more importantly why did he not remember how he got "The Garama Chronicles"?.

After watering Fredd and burning a can of spaghetti O's to thank the gods for his good heath. He meditated for world peace and a free blue ray of Ave Ventura Dos!! ... 3seconds in, he opened his eyes to see a bearded man sitting on his TV. "and who is you my good man " the bearded man asked. "I was going to asked you that" Tripp said confused. "I know ...just thought I would flip the script...for shits and giggles" the man continued " my name is Kathumi ...ascended master?...loki?...comic jester? ...friend of the Great White Brotherhood or as I am known by millions of starseeds,lightworkers and Indigo children ...WORLD TEACHER." Tripp sat up alert, the last title triggered a memory. Tripp began slow "Let me guess ...in a past life you built the Taj Mahal ... And you invented the right angle tri angle and you where once called st.Francis of Assisi ... U where also a Pharaoh!! And let me guess a little more if I may Garth van Rooyen of Cape Town, South Africa that really bad Jim Carrey impersonator is your Etherical Twin Flam aspect?" The Bearded dude grinned and said  "you do freaking know mwah?" Tripp looked at Fredd who was about to giggle. Tripp responded with an inflection of laughter "no just a guess?would that be a script flip?" Tripp gave him a look that said get on with it. "well you had questions" Kathumi continued. "first that book you got ... Garth Channeled it 4817years ...23days...and 8hours ago." Tripp choked on his out breath "what the fuck!!...How ?what? When?" "Let me continue...it will be best if you just shut up from here till the end of my monologe ...kay?" Kathumi whispered with more authority than Tripp or Fredd were comfortable with. "You have read The Garama Chronicles a lot. So in the back of you unmastered mind you will get most of what Im About to say. From the galactic point of view to the atomic point of view all is one. But there are unique individual souls so much as they have unique time signatures. God is both the fine vibrations to the most dense vibrations, in the middle of that is soul. God has given all of creation to each soul...but to prevent a fight between his children and to teach you to master the universe, each Soul incarnates alone thousands, millions and billions of years apart. They eventually sync on one planet, when they eventually catch up to each other. Then as a "whole" the race moves on, and as one soul can explore space and time. If the race has not synced by the given time Aliens reach them and are allowed to intervene" Tripp interrupted "when is the given time?" " Well Tripp" Kathumi continued "2017 years ago". " Oh gods..." Tripp murmured trembling. "This cant be!!". Kathumi took one step towards Tripp and said " Its not true...I just made the whole thing up. Tripp can I ask you a question? Tripp nodded. " Have you just learned anything?"....... "We all make everything up?" Tripp said intrepidly. "good man!!" And with that the bearded freak was gone.
Fredd and the Tripp spent the rest of the night drinking Jagermister and eating wasabi beans. Tripp slept like a baby for the first time since he was abducted by aliens when he was 5 and shoved into a holographic incubator and tricked into thinking he was living his life out.