The gods consisted of, a half eaten banana, two rear aqua-marine quarters crystals ... and a three legged lama named, Brenda Green screen cantalope Bread.
Tripp did not like people or the gods equally. He had but one friend, an African violet named, "Fredd".
Fredd lived on a strict diet of wasabi beans and Jagger-Mister shots.
Tripp had once made the mistake of giving Fredd Tequila...bad combo. Now African violets are angry mean little fuckers on a good day, but give them a bottle of tequila with a straw and you have a formula for a shit storm ... Brother Linda.
Tripp was self employed as a universal bicycle dismantler. The idea of doing this job came to him at 4:20 in the morning after waking up drenched in what could only be described as, Angry Albino reptile urine, from yet another Alien mind rape dream. The gods had just stood ... there nodding in a disapproving manner.
Tripp had a favourite book ... an ancient mystical Stinkybook called "The Gar-Rama Chronicles". The book dated back over 4800 years. He had tried to have it accurately dated ... Fucking twice! The first time a team of scientists from CERN had used a hadron ... collider to try and back date page number 17. It had ended real bad ... real bad ...bad, Two scientists committed suicide by eating 14 of Deepak Chopras' audio books, That lets face it "Are pure shit to start with !"
The other two where last seen urinating on Eckhart Tolles' back door. Rumour has it Eckhart had gone to work on them with a machete named .... "Angie" ah Angie a crule and crazy lover ... par exolance. The second time he tried to have it dated, it just ended in another one of those "Alien Mind Rape Dream" but this time, Geranium shit drops was all Tripp could fucking smell when he woke. Tripp took the geranium as a warning "leave the "age!" of Gar-Ramas' Hersey alone fuck-nut-Sunday!!". mabey something got lost in the translations?
Music was Tripps' only escape but he could only listen to Taylor Swift. All other music made him vomit Cheerios and Buddha biscuits*. Tripp had all Taylors Swifts cds, DvDs he had downloaded all her interviews from youtube.
As far as laughter was concerned Tripp had lost his ability to laugh. He also had one way of doing that ... Ace Ventura : When nature calls....... He could watch it 8 times a day, and did most days. The bicycle dismantle business was on a downswing after the Enlightenment surge of 2015. All because of some fucking little kid named "Garth van Fucking Rooyen!". Garth had made a video for Jim Carrey's birthday where he spelt out the nature of everything. The shit thought he was helping. Everyone who saw it told everyone about it,the craze took 17 days for the truth To spread. Now all Tripp had left where hours of Nature Calls and Taylor Swifts sweat siren songs. Which truth be told ... That suited him just fine.
F Y I ... Buddha biscuits where a 1967 cereal idea Hoover had squashed.
P S F Y I Garth van Rooyens real name has been changed for this story, For your safety.
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